Some signs of unresolved anger: Depression Hostility Reactivity Obsessive need to please Low self-esteem Feeling the need to control, or feeling everything out of control Feelings of hopelessness Loss of interest in sex Additional signs of fear: Need to protect oneself Backache, neckache Bodily discomfort Social discomfort A New Approach to Old Demons Shedding light on the darkness within. Anger, fear and sadness are common feelings. We all have them from time to time. We get distressed over them because we make judgements about them. However, when we allow these feelings to come through life naturally and easily, they pass quickly, and we come back into harmony and balance. We feel more peaceful and creative. Long-lasting anger, fear and sadness all tend to have their cause in hurt. The denial of hurt creates reactivity. In the case of anger, that reactivity is often in the form of blame. But blaming someone only causes more anger to rebound back at us — thus feeding our own anger. People hold onto self-defeating feelings because they don’t want to face the hurt, which is completely understandable. Sometimes it takes a long time to root out the disappointment, pain, and hidden fears that lie beneath behaviors that are holding you back. However, if you are curious and interested in what’s going on inside you and are willing to make the courageous decision to actually take a peek, you will overcome the cycle of anger, fear or sadness in which you feel entangled. Back top